Inappropriate Gift Tags - non-denominational parchment / black and white version

“For you. Because you obviously “need” more alcohol in your life”
“I originally bought you something nicer, but it died.”
“I would never wear this, but I have a feeling you will.”
“If you don’t want this, I’ll have it.”
“If this doesn’t get re-gifted, I don’t know what would.”
“For you, because I felt obligated.”
“Feel free to weep openly with gratitude.”
“Fragile. Just like my feelings, so say you love this no matter what you really think.”
“Do not shake. Oh and open soon. He's probably hungry.”
“The dog ate my gift receipt.”