Inappropriate Gift Tags

“For you. Because you obviously “need” more alcohol in your life”
“Allergy Alert. May have come in contact with typhoid.”
“What arsenic?”
“I originally bought you something nicer, but it died.”
“I would never wear this, but I have a feeling you will.”
“If you don’t want this, I’ll have it.”
“If this doesn’t get re-gifted, I don’t know what would.”
“Caution: Contains infectious diseases.”
“For you, because I felt obligated.”
“Try not to break this. I'm not getting you another one.”